It’s very rare for a Coach to fire their client but this happened with a client of mine last week, for the first time in seven years of coaching senior managers.
The client was the CEO of a sizable organisation and had opted for coaching as privilege offered to senior managers of the larger entity to which she belonged. She was a feisty, energetic and no-nonsense sort of personality and 360 feedback suggested she needed to work on her somewhat autocratic leadership style. Her team members were experiencing insensitivity, poor listening skills and a condescending and dismissive attitude sometimes amounting to arrogance.
When faced with the truth from the 360, despite my assurances that I was not there to judge her, merely to pass on the data, she had a firm justification for all her behaviours. When asked questions related to her behaviour she always talked about her colleagues or the organisation but never about herself. I pointed out this habit, which elicited indignance and a statement of her position that she was not prepared to discuss her own behaviours as they were ‘private’ and not up for discussion with a Coach.
I persisted and assured her that our conversations were 100% confidential and that coaching really is about personal development and self-awareness. Her response was that maybe she was not a suitable candidate for coaching. Having had three meetings with her and meeting resistance all the way, I had to agree with her and terminate the coaching engagement.
What do we learn from this experience? First, as a Coach it is essential to set expectations very clearly, before the start of the coaching programme, that a degree of candidness and openness, as well as some introspection will be required. Second, from the client side it must be understood that there needs to be a willingness to change self-defeating habits and behaviours where necessary. Third, the client needs to appreciate that successful coaching outcomes depend entirely on a positive approach to personal development, acceptance of candid feedback and the actions they are willing to take to change.
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You are absolutely right - if a 'coachee' is not willing to change or modify self-defeating behaviours that limit success; unwilling to try new concepts or different ways of doing things, then he or she is not ready to be coached. I have found that when an organisation requests that an employee (no matter what level within the organisation) receives coaching, it takes time to develop rapport and gain the confidence of that individual. They need reassurance that coaching is to enable them to be more successful at what they do, that coaching can be considered a positive benefit of the job.
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